horror movie reviews: day one- FUCK THIS SHITTY APARTMENT

a series of reviews, two each day, of horror movies.

day one, movie one: # alive.

1: half the people are crazed and trying to kill the other half of the people, panic and mass casualties, violent infection, etc – yes, it’s 2020-2021 thank you, continue

2: infected people trying to get in and infect people who are quarantined, aggressive mental illness -yes, yes

3: your neighbors are all worse than you ever knew
-yes. yes

4: cops eating each other
-please do go on

5: oh no several days how will you ever survive with only ramen

6: so you’re warned to have plenty of food and water, yet you don’t immediately fill up the bathtub at least, or the sinks. and you don’t go into the zombie neighbor’s abandoned apartment to see if there’s food

7: too much tech, not enough walkie talkies. I doubt.

8: I get it, people expect the end of the world to be like, a switch flipped, but no. this shit draaaags forever

9: the golf club is reminiscent of funny games. maybe an intentional nod to his change in mental state

10: slapstick!

11: finally, foraging.

12: the Mormons are at the door

13: we have skipped two weeks, without water or food?

14: and finally the lights out- wouldn’t that go before the running water?

15: oh the melodrama. don’t be a moron, but this magical dude has been alive a month without water

16: Kim Yu-bin is keeping track of her shit. I bet he gets her killed. nice waterworld callback with watering the plant.

17: of course he’s that stupid, he’s the protagonist and you’re a competent woman in a movie. how else would it justify you endangering yourself for him?

18: oh, wait. he HAS water? from where?

19: finally the tech is worth a damn. and she’s feeding him, which is ok because yes helping each other matters but

20: ok yes the tech is nice, good point, this is a scene from hackers vs zombies. slapstick is fine. zombie big mad. give me back my hand you bastards

21: Jun-u. I had been ignoring his name the entire movie. This is a bad habit of mine with zombie stuff.

22: finally some decent fuckin plot movement. there’s kids, in a good movie he’d have to kill one. instead, a treasure trove of all the survival gear. it’s handy when someone else did the preparation FOR you. I mean damn

23: oooh she’s only alive to help HIM. what a fucking surprise

24: reminds me of the pandemic “share a window” website crossed with a gentle, normal mukbang (not a weird fetish feeder one)

25: the zombies are going hooome. the zombies are going hooooooome

26: ok yes sounds scary, looked scary but it seems like there’s only five of them at her door

27: she’s skilled. of course. melee fighter. I like that this isn’t the dumb-ass slow zombies, nor the superhuman ones. just regular people.

28: another pile up!

29: don’t drink koolaid from strangers, but spam? NO NOT THAT EITHER. of course there will be cannibals in this that aren’t sick, that’s another nice callback (the road) (dead alive). I’m still holding out hope a kid zombie gets killed, although it’s unlikely at this point.

30: holy fuckin generational-divide-monologue for the ages

31: oh damn a gunshot in South Korea.

32: look, Kim, I wasn’t given any backstory for you, but I really want you to outlive “regular dumb guy”. the suicide subplot is going nowhere and we both know it

33: it’s never a good look to be fighting zombie hordes on the stairs. I don’t know why, it just isn’t good. just stay in the damn apartment. please.

34: regular Joe, you are doing the right thing by staying behind, keep that up.

35: FUCK THIS SHITTY APARTMENT

36: finally, machine guns. sorry, I’m American. I’ve been waiting for an hour and a half for logic to set in

37: where are they even going? she’s cooler than him, why isn’t she getting messages? so I guess his Instagram saved her? is that a subversiveon of what I’ve been complaining about? I think it is.

7/10 excellent slapstick, callbacks, just enough humor without ruining the narrative. subversive ending in that he’s only in the movie for the sake of saving her life, and neither died. points deducted for lack of depth to the woman in the film, too much depth for the guy, and for showing us a lack of water then changing that enough to keep someone alive for 20 days. (also, he didn’t even fill up the sink, the hell)

number two, day one: condemned


this movie is about squatting, a lifestyle I’m too familiar with. let’s see how close to the mark it gets. oh, and zombie infection stuff. that too.

1: the supe is always the strangest thing in any building in NYC. always. this isn’t a narrator. this is realism.

2: when will rich kids learn that poverty isn’t an aesthetic? when will something that poor people authentically live through, be safe from commodification and the thievery of the privileged? where does class/cultural appropriation end? why are people using their yacht money on a tiny fuckin house? find out on the next episode of generation x, when we discuss the occup-
wait no- this is just a zombie flick. sorry about that

3: I know she’s saying other shit on the phone but all I hear is “the rain was such a blessing”

4: montage is always good with good music over it. going anywhere in the city is basically a montage in reality

5: cigarettes cost 14 bucks in New York holy fuckin shit I’m old

6: ominous: “what could be worse than where you are now”, teens having sex, neon lighting, drainpipe footage, “what difference is a day gonna make”, “I won’t make the same mistake like I did in Vladivostok”

7: this bondage shit on the third floor is giving me a real, serious flashback to a job I did briefly which paid incredibly well. every time these characters show up I have a flashback, every time I watch this.

8: every character in this movie is someone I’ve met. every fuckin one. even cookie. I hate that and love it at the same time. I don’t know if you’ve ever lived in bad beat city but this is accuracy.

9: the glitch hallucination is wonderful. don’t show me people’s bad dreams, though. it’s a waste of film. especially someone’s dream who doesn’t know that squats don’t get the garbage picked up. at least he was gentle about her tourist status. (yes, that was fucking gentle. she’s visiting, but they LIVE there. he’ll show you the life of the mind)

10: the colors in this movie reminds me of Mermaid in a Manhole, an amazing movie itself- this is a compliment

11: yes punk means you puke and say “did you SEE that” yes it does

12: the way sickness spreads in close, unmaintained quarters is accurate too. these old buildings were originally tenements and were notorious for being built in a way that contributed to outbreaks of diseases. ny poverty history

13: the glitch used as stand-in for visual mirage is again amazing and continues to be throughout

14: that walk up all the stairs after a day at work to complain about the horror of everyday life, with a back crack and sore feet.

15: the cops are also accurate

16: the plot takes a nice strong left turn here, and it’s perfection. since the development of the plot cookie was leading us to doesn’t matter to the people in this building, it’s better to truncate it. and then we can get to business.

17: yes. if you die in a squat, you’re getting rolled in a carpet and left blocks away. you’ve got to. nobody’s gonna kill you but nobody’s going to be on the street over your ass either.

18: guitar axe skyline lightning. that may be a summary of the whole movie.

19: absolutely pitch perfect “you ruined new york city” rant for the ages

I used to live there

20: if the building wasn’t shit, this would be a nice Shining callback

21: FAWKKING

22: this movie just will not let you have any expected outcome. it’s brilliant.

23: I’ve lived in a brownstone that had a cellar which connected to every building on the block and beyond. that was in Philly, but the construction of this landscape is perfect.

24: FUCK THIS SHITTY APARTMENT

full disclosure- I own this DVD and have watched it a lot. it’s one of my favorite movies, structurally and visually, and I think it’s one of the best horror movies made this decade. 9/10

a few recent works! 2021

skull woodcut
depressed skeleton woodcut
floral woodcut sleeve
subdued colors: pupper lights the way
woodcut berries

Horror Movie list: 2020 edition

We’ve seen so much real-world horror this year that it’s hard to top it. But in the spirit of all previous Halloween lists, I’m going to go ahead with this anyway.

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TOP THIRTEEN!

In no particular order, the 13 movies you should be watching this week.

  1. attack the block: a classic, 10/10
  2. snowpiercer: uprising of the underclass. 9/10
  3. people under the stairs: BELONGS IN 2020. 9/10
  4. society: a better documentary than They Live. 9/10
  5. contagion: it drags a little, but have you gotten your hydroxychloroquine forsythia yet? 9/10
  6. us: class uprising, metaphorically. 9/10
  7. green room: racism, cults, punk rock culture, innawoods. 10/10
  8. the crazies: the kind of year it’s been. we didn’t realize our neighbors were this fucked up. 10/10
  9. the thing (even the sequel is good) every year, all the time, we’re gonna find out who’s the thing. 10/10
  10. children of men: how we’ve reacted isn’t much better. 10/10
  11. invasion of the body snatchers: you can’t tell if people are assholes or not, until now. now you can tell. 9/10
  12. the dead zone: we need this. we needed this a while ago. 8/10 (points deducted for effects)
  13. dead snow: We all wish we had snowmobiles and axes these days. 10/10

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The rest of the movies aren’t listed in order of best/worst, just as I remember them. Themes listed and my short thoughts, and a 1-10 scale for my personal enjoyment. There’s been a lot of shitty horror made since my previous lists (see here, here and here) (and a list of horror passing various analytical tests, HERE)

click through for the big list.

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horror movie talk with LFR

My friend Lucy F. R. has really great taste in movies.

I don’t say that lightly. You all know (if you’ve been reading me a while) how fussy I am about horror/weirdshit and how many movies I’ve watched. It’s my actual hobby, unrelated to anything else I do, purely for enjoyment. It’s hard for me to find people to talk about movies with, really- my uncle, who first introduced me to horror movies, and weird cinema, and one or two friends. So I’m really happy to have a conversation here about movies with someone.

Sal doesn't take any shit from no man.

Sal doesn’t take any shit from no man. (Beyond the Valley of the Ultravixens)

(R: me,  L:them)

R:  you’re on a grimy southern/grind horror kick right now. But what genre do you like best? What feeling are you after?

LFR: Horror is my favorite genre, I just get very into specific branches. I always want to end up saying to myself “this is a GOOD movie”.

R: What’s the best of the batch you’ve been into recently?

LFR:The Dunwich Horror (the 70’s one), Ghost Galleon, House By The Cemetery, Werewolves On Wheels, and Tourist Trap.

R: Tell me about Werewolves on Wheels. I just watched Dog Soldiers again, and I’ve been on a werewolf kick.


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HALLOWEEN!!!

I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR.

 

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witchery at large!

 

 

 

 

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Magritte tattoos: a pair

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topple the crown

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updates 2019, October

I’ve been back at work for a little while now and I’m still on part time- Friday-Sunday. it’s working out well so far and I’m hoping to expand my hours again soon!

 

recently I’ve been: tattooing of course, making tokens and proxies for MTG games, a(yes! I’m selling these), doing some painting. waiting until we clear some space for me to start working on skull mounts again, that may be a while. not having room is a major factor there. I’ve been doing some writing for the site, it may be next week I can get the new updated Horror Movies For You list put up! Plus as always- tattoo advice and questions answered.

 

my partner had leukemia and it’s been a year of caregiving for me; so many people stepped forward to be there for us, and I’m so appreciative of that. it’s still a struggle (they’re in remission after a sct right now) but we are getting comfortable again. thank you everyone for waiting it out, offering support, and just listening.

 

here’s some recent works to look at, until I update again.

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these are for sale! abug dual lands and token cards… email resonanteye@gmail. com and tell me what ya need

tattoos recently;

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my few inktober things:

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 personal things:

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The Horrors is here, get your creatures!

 

The horrors-cover lo-res rgb AVAILABLE HERE.
The Horrors is an adult coloring book, featuring 61 pieces of original line art representing monsters, cryptids, and ghosts from around the world. For each of the nightmares, there is a page explaining their origin and history.(here are two pages as a sample, you can print these to color for free!)

 Since some of the illustrations include guts, gore, and possibly (monstrous) nudity, this coloring book is not suitable for children, only for adults.

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some works from the archives.

These are the more popular things I’ve made available as prints over the last few years. They’re not all my own personal favorite pieces, but they’ve gotten the most attention and love from you guys. I think collecting them together here might give me some clues about what you all like so much, maybe.

Also I won’t be posting for a few days as we’ll be celebrating solstice here, but I’ll be back right after, on the 23rd. xox

“Down with the Ship”
This was a piece of tattoo flash I did as part of a series, and people really seem to like the sideways lighthouse in it. I did it at 11×14″ in watercolor, and did the linework with a nib pen and ink. The original sold and the prints have sold a lot too, I don’t often draw ships but I think I did a decent job on this one. You can still get some sizes of prints of this, here.

vjhbh

 

“Einstein”

I did a little contest on my facebook asking people to tell me the funniest story about someone falling down. My friend Tiny told a great story, and was the winner. The prize was a portrait of anyone famous they liked, they’d get to keep the original art. He chose Einstein, and man was he fun to draw. Lots of people seem to like this one. I tried to give him nice gentle eyes. Yes, there are still prints of him. I did this one at 8×12″ in colored pencil.

ein

 

“Red Highway”

The original of this, I gave to a collector of my work. It was a 10×13″ watercolor. Of all the landscapes I’ve done, people seem to be most interested in this one. Maybe it’s all that hot dawn cloud color. I’m not sure.

reda

 

“Dahlia with Dice”

Of all my still life work, this one gets the most attention. Maybe it’s the format, that high vertical? It was originally a 12×16″ watercolor painting. The prints of this one are popular and I’ve made a few handmade runs of it, as well as the open edition prints.

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“River Otter”

A lot of you guys love the animal totem series, and this guy is the crowd favorite. He’s a little more simple than some of the others, so I think a lot of people just really, really like otters. Colored pencil on handmade tinted paper, 8×12″.

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“Weeping Doll”

I’ve done handpainted prints of her. The original sold as soon as it was finished. I’ve redone the entire image twice and both reproductions by hand sold immediately. And the open edition prints…people really like this beat-up old doll. She’s pretty melacholy. It’s originally a 10×13″ watercolor on hotpress.

EPSON MFP image

 

Then, there’s “Shy Owl”. The most popular of them all. Due to the buyer of the original schmoozing me out of open edition printing, (I was an idiot and won’t be doing that so cheaply ever, EVER again) there are only cards available of this guy. Every print I did make of it, that limited amount, sold instantly. People email me asking for a print all the time. I’d be at least a few hundred dollars richer if I’d never said I’d only make a few prints of him.
An expensive lesson.

I'll never give up my reproduction rights so cheaply ever ever again.

I’ll never give up my reproduction rights so cheaply ever ever again.

 

The Horrors, two pages!

The new coloring book, The Horrors, is out!  The book is an adult coloring book containing ghosts, cryptids, mlnsters and urban legends from around the world, complete with stories and descriptions. You can find it here (it’s the scary werewolf!) click the images for a size you can print out and color.

 

 

 

 

 

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Jackalope
The jackalope is an antlered, sometimes winged, jackrabbit. It’s found in the southwestern United States.
They’re as fast as an antelope, and as camouflaged as a jackrabbit. You can get hunting tags for them in Wyoming, every year. When hunting a jackalope, wearing good, high leather boots is a must, as they can be dangerous and may try to gore your legs or savage you with their horns.
The jackalope can imitate human voices and may lure hunters away from their fires at night by calling for help. They also find the scent of whiskey irresistible, so traps baited with glasses of whiskey are a good way to capture the elusive beasts.

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Jersey Devil
I personally encountered the Jersey Devil. I was taking a long solo hike and was passing through the Pine Barrens in NJ- a grey, odd landscape, at dusk. I was coming around the bend of a trail when a…a thing ran past me, across the trail. It was the size of a small horse, on its hind legs, with antlers. It had a horse’s head, emaciated, and a deer’s body- but behind it flapped immense leathery wings.
I turned and ran about a mile back on the trail, at full speed. I didn’t try to hike past that point until full daylight, with others, the following day. There were clear deer tracks in the dirt, only two feet…

The Jersey Devil is said to be: a cryptid, some kind of giant bat-deer, and alternately, the evil deformed child of a satanic witch. Nobody knows its actual origins, but stories in the area are common. It’s one of the few creatures in this book I have seen with my own eyes.

 

I’m going to include the sheilanagig as well, without story. enjoy coloring these, and grab a copy of the book!!! xoxEPSON MFP image

 

 

 

shows ending, and my last stint of tattooing for 2015!

at cowfish galerythe show at TrueLove Gallery in Seattle comes down at the end of the month, as does the show at Cowfish in Eugene. If you wanted to see my paintings of women, or of life-sized predatory animals, get there while it lasts!

 

The last tattoo times I have open in 2015 are at Laughing Buddha in Seattle, nov 7-17. If you want in, or we have a continuing tattoo, please call the shop asap to book time with me. I may not be back until February!

 

I’ll be updating the event page shortly with all the winter plans.

Also, the expanded/full edition of the Horrors adult coloring book will be out very soon! 61 creatures. SIXTY ONE. If that’s not scary, I don’t know what is.

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