originally posted in 2010:

In 2003, on the 4th of July, I tried to kill myself.

from that time:

“I feel pain, and I don’t know where to put it or what to do. I am also SO FUCKING ANGRY that I wanna blow up, tear up, the world sometimes. I am striving not to take that out on the people around me. I am striving for “alone time”. I am striving for…clarity. I cannot make up my mind about anything. Everything I could do now that is good, feels like my second choice in direction, and not a close second either, but a booby prize. And I don’t know if I can do all the things the world wants me to do and that I’m supposed to do, because I feel utterly exhausted even thinking about the smallest thing.”

Mopery! (I know mopery actually means something else.) I was utterly destroyed at the time. I had been in my worst, lowest kind of depression for months, and then began a long protracted breakup as well, that weekend.

It was one of the lowest times of my entire life. I lived through it, and it’s a little fresh today, so I won’t go into too much detail right now. But I will say that I have not tried again, my life has changed for the better, and my ability to weather down times has grown- and that I am glad I survived, and am here.

I wasn’t selfish- I was in pain. I wasn’t a coward- I was at the end of my rope. I know that if you have never been that far down, inside, you don’t understand that. I am glad that you don’t because it really is bad. Suicide, for some people at some times, is like a dog chewing off a leg to escape a trap.

I’m going to spend today, unlike every other year so far- nurturing the crap out of myself, instead of partying with my people. It’s a good day. I’m free, and I’m alive.

You guys, light a firecracker or ten for me. I’ll see you at the next shindig.

recent works spring 2024

tattoos; I’m working on the website a bit to restructure, but here are some recent works.

a few days in November

flower tattoos, and a mantis.

frogs and toads and pops and Halloween dogs

and it’s snowing

it’s been up into the 70s F the past week and today it froze and snowed.

Halloween flash time coming up!

I LOVE HALLOWEEN as you all know. So I drew some things and set aside a day to do them, October 28th-

use this link to book time that day directly,

no need to email or call. just click through and scroll down to pick a time.

smog monster!

Thing Dog!

IT IS BATS

let me know which design number you want; each has an orange number next to it. if you’re not sure, add a lil description.
come in costume if you want, but you don’t have to- I just love halloween.

if you are far away and want to take these to a local artist to be done, please just drop me a few bucks via cashapp, paypal or venmo. 

(these flash designs are mine, but you can get another tattooer to tattoo them if you pay for the reproduction right)

equinox time

i love this time of year!

here’s a recent tattoo:

I’ll be doing flash day/walk in day on Sept 30. you can use the main page to sign up! all these and of course, the usual cancer ribbons, are 150+tax.

 

the watermelon season is over, and Lulu isn’t happy about it.

minor site updates!

I’ve rearranged and freshened up a little.

there’s now a garden page, I will be fleshing out a little better.

I finally put in a portfolio gallery, it still needs a little work.

And the main page has new image and links!

fresh tattoos under the fold.

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some recent works, smoky days

air quality is so bad right now.

I’ve been tattooing as usual, though:

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putting together the art studio

all of my gear has been packed up for months waiting to be moved into the studio building.

the last few days I’ve started to set up.

 

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