mornings; journal snippets

While dozing,

I had a dream of you.

The sheets rustled, warm,

And angels shouted,

beside our close whispers,

their voices rang aloud: “Love,”

And that was when I, dreaming, knew,

There never would be another like you, for me.

But I awoke alone,

No traces of you, the cold sheets flat.

So remembering the dream,

I closed my eyes,

 and hoped.

12/1/24

That ominous vibration,

as of an unseen

massive thing stampeding,

rushingthroughtime

to arrive.

conservatives supported the crown in colonial days. “this isn’t the proper way.”  “we’ve never helped revolutionaries, why start now?” “can’t things just go on as they have.”

conservatives wanted slaves. “it’s how we’ve always done this.” “can’t things just go on as they have.”

conservatives fought for Jim Crow laws. “put it back how it was.” “can’t things just go on as they have.”

conservatives fought against giving Black people the vote. women the right to vote, natives the right to vote. “it’s never done that way.” “we’ve never helped Negroes, or women, why start now?” “can’t things just go on as they have.”

conservatives fight to retain, not to progress. conservatives fought to destroy native american sovereignty and land use. “we’ve never helped indians, why start now?” “that’s not how we do things.” “can’t things just go on as they have.”

If you believe what the bible says: Jesus was opposed and murdered by conservatives. “how dare anyone change the rules.” “it’s not how we do things.” “imagine inviting a prostitute into your circle.” “we’ve never helped lepers, why start now?”

“can’t things just go on as they have?”

“can’t we do it how we used to do. back when I didn’t have to care?”

 

 

:writing taken from morning journal, images chosen for mood and nothing more:

 

new patreon posts starting today

I’ll be using it instead of tiktok/fb/IG from now on, free members can see a lot there.

paid members can see a lot more.

new prints and shirts: which do you want first?

rebuilding my print/shirt shops and I want your opinion! Take the poll and let me know.

unrelated chunk of coal.

reworking my patreon with YOUR feedback!
I’m rebuilding and restructuring my Patreon today, and I’m wondering what you all would like to see:
  • for free (there will always be some free content there!)
  • for small monthly subscriptions (what would you pay 3 bucks a month to look at?)
  • for bigger amounts (tattoo classes or info that’s more guarded? art tech? readings from my books? what???)
  • physical goods- books, preprints, zines, art prints? early access to sales of originals, discounts?
if you have suggestions, ideas, things you’d like to see, thoughts about what you would pay for or what you think would be worth paying for (and your thoughts on costs!)
please let me know. you can see my patreon at this link.
feel free to go look at the free content there, see what I’ve been posting behind the paywall with the previews, and let me know what you think. I’m interested in YOU and your thoughts; your criticism is more than welcome!
most recent post: https://www.patreon.com/posts/talking-about-116394983 is talking about flash, history, and showing some pieces from my collection.

things that are like magic to me:

repairing mechanical things, electrical things, modern tech and programming, car repairs post 1995, taxonomy (plants), internet structure, building things like shelves, most power tools, how potholes get fixed.

things I understand enough to know they’re not magical:

the basic scientific method, tattoos (all related subjects), painting, drawing, writing, poetry, gardening, framing (construction AND art), composition, jokes, propaganda, plumbing, taxonomy (animal), internet constraints on expression, building things from scrap, trees.

everything else? could go either way really. dunno if it’s magic or process but interested in finding out. I love reading about everything I don’t know.

in the gutter, I can see the stars.

 

muddy season

an update to several things:

I’m on bluesky at https://bsky.app/profile/resonanteye.bsky.social

I’m mostly using bsky, tiktok and tumblr these days. I’ve stopped most other social media. I’m tired, boss.

I know this election is tense for everyone. it’s been NINE YEARS of election year and yes we are all bored and exhausted of this crap. Hold fast. that’s all.

here’s a few Halloween photos to keep you in high spirits.

sparkle fairy Buford had a great time managing the candy portions.

everyone hang in there and stay warm and safe.

August, September 2024

I’ve had a busy end of summer and I’m halfway through Halloween month. I figured it’s time for an update.

I’m now on bluesky (resonanteye there too as always) and enjoying it.

The garden has frosted over, the greenhouse is ready for winter season, and I’ve been posting to youtube and tiktok about that.

here’s a few harvest photos from the past month or so:


Here’s some recent tattoos I’ve done, I had a really good month or two. Look for a horror movie list this week here, and a Halloween update art the start of November!

originally posted in 2010:

In 2003, on the 4th of July, I tried to kill myself.

from that time:

“I feel pain, and I don’t know where to put it or what to do. I am also SO FUCKING ANGRY that I wanna blow up, tear up, the world sometimes. I am striving not to take that out on the people around me. I am striving for “alone time”. I am striving for…clarity. I cannot make up my mind about anything. Everything I could do now that is good, feels like my second choice in direction, and not a close second either, but a booby prize. And I don’t know if I can do all the things the world wants me to do and that I’m supposed to do, because I feel utterly exhausted even thinking about the smallest thing.”

Mopery! (I know mopery actually means something else.) I was utterly destroyed at the time. I had been in my worst, lowest kind of depression for months, and then began a long protracted breakup as well, that weekend.

It was one of the lowest times of my entire life. I lived through it, and it’s a little fresh today, so I won’t go into too much detail right now. But I will say that I have not tried again, my life has changed for the better, and my ability to weather down times has grown- and that I am glad I survived, and am here.

I wasn’t selfish- I was in pain. I wasn’t a coward- I was at the end of my rope. I know that if you have never been that far down, inside, you don’t understand that. I am glad that you don’t because it really is bad. Suicide, for some people at some times, is like a dog chewing off a leg to escape a trap.

I’m going to spend today, unlike every other year so far- nurturing the crap out of myself, instead of partying with my people. It’s a good day. I’m free, and I’m alive.

You guys, light a firecracker or ten for me. I’ll see you at the next shindig.

and it’s snowing

it’s been up into the 70s F the past week and today it froze and snowed.

minor site updates!

I’ve rearranged and freshened up a little.

there’s now a garden page, I will be fleshing out a little better.

I finally put in a portfolio gallery, it still needs a little work.

And the main page has new image and links!

fresh tattoos under the fold.

(more…)

some recent works, smoky days

air quality is so bad right now.

I’ve been tattooing as usual, though:

(more…)

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