Based on some Tibetan gore art I looked over recently.
All watercolor, brush and ink. 22×30″ on 300# kilimanjaro coldpress.
Yeah it’s warped (drying) in these images.
not for sale, made as a gift for a friend.
might make prints before I give it away, I haven’t decided yet.
click through for more process shots and a full view of the finished piece.
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Originally published 02/02/2012.
It is so hard to tell you.
It comes as a wave. It builds. It is slow, and heavy, and at first it feels as if I can continue to stand in it, and resist the current.
When one’s body is broken, it is visible. Others can see the broken parts sticking out, smell the rot, assess the damage and quantify the exact amount of sympathy, decide upon a course of action. The dark inside is different. The body shows it, yes, but not in ways that can be understood by anyone who has not been sucked under.
The darkness rises, and the current underneath will lift and grab. One’s whole being, the air around, the muscles give way.
Just get up. Just shower and shave and do the dishes and feed the dog and wash the clothes and cook food and pay a bill and go to work and
None of these things are possible. When you’re standing on the shore these are easy things, simple, small things. In the grip of the current the only fight is not to get sucked under completely, to keep the head above the surface enough to steal a breath.
And another, and another. Because you can’t just stop breathing.
I know I should just talk directly about my own experience, here. I know I should be specific. But how can I? How can I?
I have smelled my own stench when a week of the darkness has left me washed up on the shore. I’ve been catatonic- seen shapes in the shadows. I’ve felt pain in places where my body is not. And when the body is hurt, broken, or ill, the darkness knows, and rushes forward to seize its chance.
Being alone, in pain, and having the dark wash up on you is something you must, and most will, experience in life. You cannot understand it until it comes, and when you have been through it you will have changed. The darkness leaves a mark on you that can’t be washed away by all the sunlight and blowing curtains and fresh water you can muster.
It passes, and it’s gone. Once it’s come and gone you know it can come again, though. And that haunted feeling will stay.
Good times are good times. And they are best because the darkness has been and gone. The shadows make all the light around them richer.
Originally published on 11/16/2013
I want to talk a little bit about my materials. Mainly because I read a lot of forums and craft and art blogs, and tend to see the same comments over and over about artists that work with taxidermy or animal remains.
Nature isn’t cruel or kind; it’s just hungry.
I get a lot of questions about various things I use- mostly about bones and skulls, but a lot of people have asked about other things too- plants, rocks. Usually people are just being dense- “did you kill all those raccoons?” or “who do you have buried in the crawlspace?” or, even better, “ewwww it’s dead!” A lot of people saying this also eat fast food, buy meat at the grocery store, and let their cats roam outdoors…
I work humanely- in a sense. I don’t kill anything to make my art but yes, they are real bones and skulls. I get them from a lot of different sources. Most of the game animal bones and skulls I get from hunters- I have friends who hunt for food, and who will give me remains to work with. Most of the deer, elk, and turkey skulls and bones I use come from these sources. I also get bones from family farms- chicken, pig, and goose or turkey bones, even a few ostrich and cow remains. Most of these animals are also killed for food.
I don’t use anything from factory farms, just farms where the animals are treated well. I know this is enough to upset some people but since I also eat meat I don’t feel bad about it- I WOULD feel awful using factory-farmed items. However if I came across some, or had a source, I might use them; that piece would probably be pretty damned dark though. I tend to work with the feelings the animal’s remains give me, to make a piece that expresses the creature’s life.
I know a lot of artists who work with animal remains are a bit more humorous than I am, or more light-hearted about it in general. I do see the remains as a medium but at the same time I don’t feel good making jokes at the animal’s expense. Very rarely I get a skull or part which is light, and happy- I will sometimes make a brighter piece with those. Usually though animals live difficult lives, and their bones speak to me about this, so I don’t work very light very often.
I get questioned partly I think because of artists that do slaughter animals in the context of their work. While I don’t do this, I don’t find these artists offensive at all, it’s just not my own way of working. I don’t think it’s horrible. I have hunted for food myself, and been present for slaughtering at farms. Again- I don’t think it’s awful if you eat at KFC, either. I just personally don’t.
Some of my pieces come from road strikes. I have been working steadily on a series of photographs and an extended essay about roadside nature and roadkill, about human safety and how highways affect the animals that live near them. As a consequence of this work I have come across a LOT of roadside remains. I did get a license to collect roadkill in several states (not all states need one, but some do) and have spent a great deal of time working with these remains. A lot of these wild animals are obvious survivors of repeated injuries (fractures and old healed injuries in their skeletons attest to this) and the way they interact with the road fascinates me.
No, I have not used anything I myself ran over.
Most of my feathers come from friend’s farms. Almost all of my plant matter comes from my own place- I live on the edge of the Siuslaw, and not only the yard/forest of my house but the clearcuts nearby furnish most of my lichens, moss, and wood. I do a lot of beach collecting too. I live in Oregon, and it is legal to collect many things here, since all beaches are public. I do refrain from collecting in park areas, since those are restricted. I also don’t collect or mess with the remains of pinnipeds, or vertebrate fossils- just invertebrate fossils, collected in nonrestricted areas.
I have a few skulls and things which I have purchased. A few mink, fox, and beaver skulls which I am certain are fur trade castoffs- these items have a very dark feeling to them, and so the pieces built with them reflect that. I also have used vervet monkey skulls- the importation of these was a pain in the neck, and they are killed as a nuisance animal- so they too have a very dark feeling. Like I said, the horrors of life, death, the hard times most animals go through, are the reason my work is not light-hearted and silly. I don’t use anything illegal, and I avoid using items which may violate CITES or the MBA. (More information on the legality of animal remains is available here, if you are interested.)
I don’t work much with animals that are domestic pets, but I occasionally get some materials this way. Usually these are used for commissions for the previous owner. Some of these are more light and happy. I’ve worked with a very battered stray-dog skull, just making that piece was very upsetting. It wasn’t a joke to me.
I’ve worked with human bones too. This is where people tend to be most alarmed- although in reality it is easier to buy human bone than many animals! I get most of my human bone specimens from places which sell vintage anatomical displays, or from places such as necromance (among others) which sell oddities. Yes, these bones are legal. No, I didn’t kill anyone to get them. And YES, they are expensive for a reason. Again- most of these works are dark. I don’t get silly feelings from death.
I’ve sold work and done commissions for vegans- for people who are animal and conservation activists. My work is intended to speak about the way people are oblivious to the natural world. Nature is full of drama, death, struggle, and strangeness. I try to use the materials I have to portray that. Reminders of mortality are not for everyone. Horrific art is not for everyone. There are people who cannot sit through a horror movie and people who cannot listen to a description of how their hamburger was made. My work is not for these people, really- although knowing that my work may have given them pause or made them think about these things, about the darker side of life, is kind of the point.
Originally Published on: Apr 19, 2012
Three new calendars available. Nicely enough, you can pick your own starting month for these!
Totem animals, serial killer portraits, and tattoo flash calendars up now.
On a more personal note, I am getting all four of my wisdom teeth removed later this summer (Thanks Obama! Seriously!) and I will post throughout, about that experience.
I’ll tag those all “medicine” and “personal” in case you want to avoid them. I have serious, long-standing dental phobia as well as never having had the money or coverage to get them removed. So this is a HUGE step for me.
I went in and had my teeth cleaned, and only had a few cavities after twenty or thirty years of no dentistry, so that was pretty amazing.
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Anyone with serious dental issues, you’re not alone. It’s embarrassing as hell but if you find a good dentist they wont judge you. The place I went, they were kind as hell about everything, very gentle, and sweet,
Things I’ve made since my last update!
Also, the book is printing now…yay!
and, there are kittens here.
All in all a busy few weeks.
excerpt from chapter seven (?), The Ningen
Ningen are the only cryptid in Antarctica. They’re pale, white like the ice in the ocean where they live. They hve finned hands, and no other facial features than eyes and mouths. Some claim they have legs, others that they have a whale-like tail.
They’re usually seen at night, from a boat. There are almost no photographs of them, and very few reports of sightings. However for the area in which they live, there are few people and fewer still looking into the waves.
The first sightings were during the 1990s, as more people were working in the antarctic. They’re massive creatures, between 60 and 90 feet long. Most claim they have hands, like human hands, with five fingers.
No ningen has yet been captured, dead or alive.
I’m up formatting. Insomnia has had me slept through the last few days, up all night at the computer, typing, correcting. I am lucky to have an editor friend who has ripped the thing apart enough for me to repair it to a better standard.
I’ll be working like this until it’s done and sent on, then packing for the road. Wish me luck with both.
Progress photos after the jump.
This is the second in a series of four paintings.
It’s been a while since I posted up new things, so here they are, some shirts and some are prints.
I’ll be adding more next week I think.
I know, you’re shy! It’s ok, so am I.
Posting your art online can feel very exposing, much like a gallery show. Posting it to social media or other sites can feel scary; and a lot of the time the fear of negative response keeps people from presenting their work online. You don’t have to be afraid, though. Yes, you may get negative responses to your work. You may get criticisms, or even personal jabs at you. But there are benefits to posting online that definitely outweigh the emotional turmoil these things can cause.
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