quarantine paintings: series two

the first series were all 18×24″
these are larger, 22×30″. looser.

more emotional.
I had a difficult time working on the first series, with a lot of stops and starts. I’ve added the last few to that post.


series two: updated as I go.

"Busting the Line, Nebraska" 22x30", watercolor

“Busting the Line, Nebraska”
22×30″, watercolor

"Audience Participation, London" 22x30", watercolor

“Audience Participation, London”
22×30″, watercolor

Houston has its Time 22x30", watercolor

Houston has its Time
22×30″, watercolor


Calling in the Forces, Sunflowers 22x30" watercolor

Calling in the Forces, Sunflowers
22×30″ watercolor

Skating in New York City watercolor, 22x30"

Skating in New York City
watercolor, 22×30″

The world is in a flux, a liminal moment.

These are times when creating anything is difficult for me. I feel that collective unease, hope, fear, pain, anticipation. And I have all those feelings. It can get overwhelming.

I’ve never been good at actually starving- in times when I’m suffering, broke, afraid, it’s harder for me to do any work at all, let alone anything I feel is any good. Hard times make hard art, for me.

Yet here I am, trying.
I’ve applied for every grant I can find and not gotten one. No SBA, or anything. I did get a stimulus check- that’s about what I earn a week, and I’m still paying off bills related to being a cancer caregiver for a year (I was off work up until last fall). It didn’t stretch far. I guess we’ll see if that stuff changes for me. Regardless, these won’t be for sale for a little while. I’ll probably do a print run. I’ll try to show them. I don’t know what gallery will have them though.

Lucky me, I’ll not be homeless, unless illness strikes us again. I’m in fear of that.

I’m in fear. I’ll admit it. I don’t understand how anyone can not be, on some level. Whether admitted or not- I can feel your fear all around. The aggression in the air, the sadness, and the fear underlying it.

I feel it, you feel it, everyone is feeling it. Some will lie- but fear isn’t weakness. You’ve got to just feel it. Let it be there. Don’t panic, of course- or panic in controlled ways, I guess. But be cautious. Fear is how our natural bodies tell us there is danger, and listening to our intuition and being cautious isn’t a bad thing. Living despite fear, the name for that is bravery. You are brave.

I feel also a great protective kindness. Most people, MOST people, want to help each other. We all want to be helpful, useful, good to each other. We are not only afraid for ourselves. Those who don’t care are a minority-loud, but small. Fuck em.

This is the most reassuring thing I know, right now. I’m holding to it. I hope you can too.

The New American Death Cult, part 3: my sister didn’t even LIKE trump

We all know someone who’s seemed normal but who’s somehow gotten involved in reposted propaganda and nonsense about this stuff.

I am talking about someone who isn’t a Limbaugh listener. A yoga teacher, a coffee roaster, an office worker. Someone who isn’t even all that political really, but who is nevertheless posting heavily photoshopped images about “saving children” with random celebrities hovering like demons in the background. How did these people get sucked into a strange cult? How did regular people end up believing an antisemitic trope about “baby brains”? Why is Nevaeh even aware this shit exists?



It starts with that tag. “save * children”.


I’ll say it. Yes, they want to die. Yes, they want to kill.

yes, they want to kill their base. yes they want to die. yes they want to get other people killed too, that’s the whole point. yes.

I see people saying things like:

“I don’t get it why would they want to support this guy”

“why fight with science do they want to die”

“does he WANT to kill his voter base”

“I don’t understand why they are so hyped on people who stand for the opposite of what they say they care about, I thought they were ‘conservative'”

“what’s the big deal about a mask”


"Busting the Line, Nebraska" 22x30", watercolor

“Busting the Line, Nebraska”
22×30″, watercolor

They are NOT telling you how they really feel.
They are LYING about their motivations.
They do NOT think a million deaths would be a bad thing and they do NOT think the current pandemic is a hoax. They know it’s real.

They’re in a destructive cult.
A Death Cult.

They not only want to die (their cyanide happens to be covid 19) but they want to take as many others down as possible. They’re deep in a cult, a real cult.

It’s got a lot in common with both Pol Pot (anti science/anti knowledge) and Aum Shinrinkyo (“truthers”, trying to start the end times) cults. Since it’s American, there’s a lot more dominionist/prosperity gospel Bible thumping mixed into it, including the End Times being a good thing, punishment of their opponents, having twelve kids to make a ‘god army’, all that. Add in an American mixture of sexism, racism and -phobia and you’ve got a really poisonous stew. A melting pot of horror.

summation of the means to the end.

summation of the means to the end.

The underlying principles of Death Cults are always the same.




you don't owe anyone a platform.

you don’t owe anyone a platform.

Anything they’re saying as “reasons” for this stuff, is purely a cover story for their actual purpose. They are not having a debate with you. They are not “presenting evidence”, playing devil’s advocate, trying to find answers, whatever way you are giving them a pass- you’re wrong about it. You are reading them wrong, which is their goal. They want to spew propaganda, and every time you reply to their shit in good faith, you’re letting them do it.

You enjoy a good conspiracy, right? This one isn’t even hidden. Barely. They’re barely trying to hide it anymore.

Actually, the same reason you enjoy a good conspiracy, is the reason they got sucked into this cult, some of them. A feeling that you know more than other people, that you’re on the inside, that you are right and others are blind, a sense of belonging, feeling like you are “making a difference”. These are natural human urges, and cults use them to snare people. (we can’t ignore the racist/sexist aspects of this cult in particular, but ANY cult will appeal to these other urges-even for intelligent people)

What is an acceptable number of people to kill? For what goal? Even the goals they have, do not make sense: unless you know they are in a Death Cult and

*killing people is their actual goal*



Tomorrow I’ll tackle the ways people have gotten snagged in this- Q and the chans’ political quarantine sections have a lot to do with it. “reasonable” questions, conspiracy theories, mistrust of regulatory agencies (which have been purposely gutted to function poorly), police brutality, pay cuts for essential workers, pitting teachers against parents, and on and on.

I’ll get into that tomorrow in a follow up.


where this shit is coming from:

how to indoctrinate

how to indoctrinate

*losing someone caught up in this?*

*some assistance*


current events; condensed

A condensed post including short writings on current events.


open up? conspiracies? here’s the real one.


online selling, etsy, ethics.

Update: people are beginning to migrate from the (myspace )I mean – etsy. Here is a page attempting to list their new shops and venues. And other are protesting it all.

The place has always had resellers; people breaking the rules to pass off mass-produced stuff as handmade.
There’s a lot of money to be had from people who want to NOT support corporations, who want to buy local, handmade stuff. A lot of people don’t like buying things that were made for pennies by slave labor. Lots of companies know that, and will lie about how their stuff was made, to get that dollar.

The people who produce things with slave labor want that dollar, too.

“Former eBay and PayPal executive Stephanie Tilenius has joined the Board of Directors of Etsy, joining Etsy founder Rob Kalin, FlickR’s Caterina Fake, Union Square Ventures’ Fred Wilson, and Accel Partners’ Jim Breyer (also on Walmart.com.’s board) on the board. Tilenius left eBay last year and now heads Google’s commerce division.”

So they invaded etsy (and a few other places) and have been trying for a while now to find ways to successfully sell to people who don’t want to buy from them. Recently, an attempt to pass off furniture built in Bali as “handmade in CA” was busted. The thing is- etsy isn’t supposed to be a place to buy factory-made goods being resold. Its own mission statement says that buying direct from people who are making things by hand, not in factories, is the point.

I signed up there because of that but now…well, the fact that when confronted with a (GIANT SHITPILE OF) evidence, including an email from the man who actually makes the furniture, that the stuff is not produced in CA, and that the original seller is a fraud, etsy chose not to apologize, not to admit fault and remove the seller—but to close discussions about it and deny. (note- the fraudulent seller? is not only still open, but still in their list of “featured sellers”)
So, I’m in the process of migrating. (check out my home page– new links to my stuff for now! All my rocks, sticks, logs, and moss will stay on etsy- but anything I made, art, paintings and stuff- originals- has been moved. still debating whether to keep my prints there or not, my “production work”)


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